नारी

अचानोझैं रेष्टुराका खाटखाटमा तिमी छौ

अंग अंग छुने पापी हातहातमा तिमी छौ

साँझ पख भट्टी नेर एक हुल भमराको

तिनले पिउने सोमरसको मातमातमा तिमीछौ

अँधेरोमै आँचल फेर्ने कस्तो रिती यो शहरको

झिलमिलिमै पाप छोप्ने रातरातमा  तिमी छौ

छुवाछुतको नारालाउने पट्टीबाँधी चुम्छन तिमीलाई

ठुला देखी साना सम्म जातजातमा तिमी छौ

बत्ती निभ्दा शुरु भई बलेपछी छुट्ने माया

नारीमाथि चलिरहने घातघातमा तिमी छौ

फुलजती मनकी रानी घरअकी रानी बनाउँदा

भमराले कुल्चि हिंड्ने पातपातमा तिमी छौ

पाँचमिनेटलाई लाख दिने धनी साधु रम्दैगर्दा

खुशी बेची आँसु साट्ने बातबातमा तिमी छौ

अचानोझैं रेष्टुराका  खाटखाटमा तिमी छौ

अंग अंग छुने पापी  हातहातमा तिमी छौ      

Just Try

This is probably the first sketch that I tried... Though you might find it funny, it's better than my expectation.
#Thank You...

White Coat

Photo: Patan Academy of Health Sciences 3rd Batch students taking oath at white coat ceremony

For a moment, can you just close your eyes & try to visualize an image of doctor: majority of chances is that your virtual doctor will be standing in front of you in a neat WHITE COAT with smiley face. The point that I am trying to mention here is, a long white coat with loose fitting style, big buttons, big pockets and flat neck collar & an ID card tagged at chest has become an unique identity of physicians, though it’s not just their trademark. White coat has it’s own stories and values. So many peoples in the universe somewhere sometimes in some phase of life wants to own it but very few succeeds. I was lucky enough to make my dream come true when I was selected for medical education. I still remember the day, for the first time in life, I was wearing a white coat during white coat ceremony at PAHS. Since that very first moment of intimacy, I have gathered so many experiences of life wearing that coat: both memorable & unpleasant ones. During those initial days of my medical school we were allowed to go to hospital on white coat just a day on a week for an hour : to have history taking practice. While being at ward on coat, I always wished that someone to whom I know to come & notice me. It was matter of pride for me. But none of such incidence happened. That was the time we used to take photo on white coat and post it on social sites like facebook and feel wonderful to get so many likes there. Now, I feel like we didn’t do justice with it at that time. Probably I was not mature enough to understand White Coat. It was not that type of coat people wear to show their personality, their status. The coat without tie, the coat which is not said unfitting even if long up to knee & very big like sac, the one that you won't be keeping inside your drawer for the occasion of your friend's marriage. White coat itself has great value much more than just a cloth. It is a sign of professionalism. It symbolizes the one who bears responsibility to listen people’s problems, responsibility to address them in professional way.  It may be surprising that prior to 19^th century, doctors didn't use to wear white coat rather they used to have black one. Then why colour inversion at that time? It has own story found in different websites but in my thinking, Probably because Whiteness of the coat is symbol of holiness/pureness, symbol of care, symbol of credibility. But there is no greatness of wearing white coat only. Even a child can have it if asked in tailor to have so. But what is the difference? The difference lies in not letting to have dark spots on it. Do I mean dark spots that our commercial wheel or surf excels claim to clean? That might be the one reason. I have seen few white coats in my hospital hanged without any hesitation which were so dirty that its sleeve & neck collar was almost dark (moving inhabitant of micororganisms). Those are very easy to wash. But actually what I am trying highlight here is that spot which may hurt people's feelings, which may not fulfill patient's expectations, which will ruin doctor's credibility and respect. The day you wear white coat is the day you should start carrying huge huge responsibility for the patients and for the society. Mind it, it's not only that much lucrative as it seems. You are the one to whom people don't want to meet as far as possible. You won't have fans like heroes, you won't have lots of money if you are sincere server, even one in your locality might not know you. But feel proud that you are that blessed one to whom even stranger do trust and share their secretes, share sorrows and share feelings. Feel proud that you are that magic train in which people climb up with sufferings and climb down with luggage of happiness. So try to understand the value of profession, value of that coat. But not always a doctor prefer to wear it & sometimes may be logical (though not always). For example: pediatric populations may start to cry at a moment you meet them if you are in white coat , psychiatric patients may have reluctance to talk with the one in white coat, in case of white coat hypertension etc. But in my hospital, I have noticed most of the senior doctors don’t wear it & all of them are not pediatricians or psychiatrists. Then why? Reasons are yet to be explored. So, the one in my hospital without white coat is either a patient or a senior consultant.

Thus, by now, as a future physician white coat has become part of my life. Everyday along with some books, copy & pen I do carry white coat in my bag to hospital. I just celebrated 3^rd anniversary of my relationship with it. Since then, it has been torn & repaired, has become dirty & washed, in the same way as my hopes, thoughts & identity. These sleepless nights, these bulky books are all dedicated to the “White Coat” who is going to be a silent bridge between me and my responsibility to those in suffering. Still it's a long way to go when I will be feeling myself matched enough with that coat which is still far above my standard...
#Thank You...

No, I am 4th Year Student

What might be the most wonderful feelings of a student life? Probably the one that you get after finishing exams.It gets even magnified if you are a poor medical student. It is like a universal truth. But this time I am feeling beyond the truth. Because I just finished my 3rd year clinical posting and also done with formative exams. The other reason might be transition from boring basic science lectures to more practical, realistic and enjoyable exposure of clinical science,under the shadow of loving faculties. Being the same, I am not an exception. That’s why this blog is just a written form of those so called “wonderful feelings” after completion of third year. I still remember the day when I was entering my hospital on white coat as a 3^rd year medical student.From that very first day of clinical posting to this moment,so many things have got changed: within myself and my hospital, leaving bunch of memorable and few unforgettable imprints on my mind.

Photo by Google

Being the first posting at surgery, I was really impressed by surgeon’s straight forward approach towards treatment and those heroic attitudes. That was the time when I used to have eager to visit OT(Operation Theater)  even at night duty, in that cold season by wearing thin gown only.Visiting OT, clicking photos on gown and uploading on Facebook, having scarcity of slippers and wearing of two different kinds, getting scolded by surgeons for touching sterilized things, walking out of OT and feeling like hero when all visitors look at you with that strange eyes,sleeping on intern’s bed at leisure time and always presenting the case of “Appendicitis”on morning handover are memorable events.

Internal medicine was ocean of knowledge. From those faculties who always seemed to be in rush, I learnt little and found this posting quite hectic. Talking about hectic things just attracts it more: law of attraction. So, Lets not talk about this posting much.

Paediatric ward was full of cute babies whose vomit or even excreta doesn’t seems foul. I still remember those silly moments of asking mothers about character of pain that baby is having, saying that patient was oriented to Time, Place & Person, getting scolded by dialogues like “This is the worst history I have ever heard!”, attending morning rounds, among circle of 10 /15 senior doctors and presenting like a mouse , being afraid of touching infants, saying S1S2 no murmur without having stethoscope etc. were the funny moments that I can’t forget.

Gyne/Obstetrics was relatively lighter than others. But those Villain like faculties, loud voice & pinching words has made it so heavy. After finishing that ward, I am still Wondering why so many things to study for just single system and why so much for just a baby to come out of womb?? Nature is mysterious, I must admit it. Personally, I never dared to see normal labour for second time: after all it was horrible experience.

As a part of Lab/ER posting, I found it more practical and straight forward. From that day of basic science saying “Coccobacilli” as organism to this moment of performing different diagnostic microbiological tests at laboratory, many things has got improved. I used to feel like king after inserting a single cannula. We used to compete with friends to draw blood. Few failure experiences and getting scolded by patients for hurting them was also not uncommon: usual part of the journey.

Ortho was last posting and probably the posting which changed my preferences of future in U-turn. Before the posting, I used to think it as just fractures, lots of anatomy, playing with screws, wires and plates like a carpenter. Initially I was worried for anatomy, but found it most wonderful ward. I want to be an orthopaedic surgeon. Because, Single patient stay for longer period, very few emergency operations required, still you are a surgeon, analgesic alone can fight with most of orthopedic diseases. After all personal life also counts.

Sometimes It’s good to be mad and enjoy the few moments beyond the boundaries. Time is running so fast & you are becoming more responsible day by day. Waking up late in the morning, missing breakfast, taking history, writing logs, copying other group’s slides by changing font and design, still presenting with full confidence were usual part of this year. I think I became sick for more than hundred times just to bunk the classes, I rarely attended ethics classes. Even night duty used to be fun initially, and lastly going at 6 and coming at 7 had became our habit. Still we learnt how much we were meant to be. I have heard good fame of my hospital a lot. By this posting I got an opportunity to cross verify the fact. Yes, it was right, I found it much better than expected. But still there remains few rooms for improvement. Some areas for improvement through my eyes are:  Communication skills of staffs, aseptic condition in OT, faculty fulfillment, long queue for OPD ticket etc.

But sometimes things are not that much easy and lucrative as it seems from outside. As a medical student, you almost never get holidays other than Saturday, there remains tons of  things to study in very short period, everybody expects your help, there exists lots of loopholes being 1^st batch student. I think 3^rd year medical student is just the beginning of journey. You don’t know must of the things but society thinks you must know everything. So usually saying “I don’t know” is not feasible and practical. So you have to act like expert with patients which is the most challenging part. I have seen patients being cured and returning back to their home happily. I have seen patients dying in front of my eyes. I have seen patients sharing non-medical problems which is suffering them more than medical ones. Medical life is probably the mixed experience of joy, sorrow, fun and exhaustion. by this time, I have come to the terms & learned to enjoy it the way it is…

#ThankYou...

समर लभ: एउटा ककटेल उपन्यास

"समर लभ" यानिकी छोटो समयको अवीस्मरणिय प्रेम, सरल भाषामा लेखिएको एक सुन्दर उपन्यास । एउटा रचना जसले पाठकको एक रातलाई एउटा मिठो प्रेमकथा र त्यसका उतारचढावहाँरुसँग बगाउने सामर्थ्य बोक्छ ।

Photo by Google

यो उपन्यास T.U. मा मास्टर पढ्दैगरेका दुई प्रेमी र उनिहरुको प्रेमकै सेरोफेरोमा घुमेको पाईन्छ । कथाको शुरुवात T.U. को नोटिस बोर्ड बाट हुन्छ । उपन्यासमा Entrance Topper "साया"  र  ब्याकबेन्चेर  "अतित" बिचको  रमाइलो प्रेमकथा लाई निकै आकर्षक ढंगले प्रस्तुत गर्न खोजिएको छ । तर कताकता लेखकले उपन्यासलाई  राम्रो सँग बिट मार्न नसक्दा पाठक बर्गलाई प्रश्न चिन्हमै  उपन्यास  बाट बाहिरिन बिवश पारेको हो कि जस्तो भान चाहिं भइनैरहन्छ, शायद रहस्यमय राखेतापनी सोको लागि कतै कुनै लजिकल ठाउँ नछोडेको भएर पनि होला । अत: सरल  भाषामा   लेखिएको मध्यम कोटिको  को  उपन्यास  हो "समर लभ"  .
उपन्यासमा कोरिएका केही घतलाग्दा लाइनका झलकहरु :

•  प्रेम र जुवा उस्तै उस्तै हो । फँलास खेल्दा एकैचोटी तीन पत्ती देखाइदियो भने के मज्जा हुन्छ र !  हुन्न नि । बिस्तारै एक एक  पत्ती  देखाउँदै , ढुकढुकी बढाउंदै खेल्नुको मज्जै बेग्लै हुन्छ । प्रेम पनि झ्यापझुप गरिहाल्यो अनी सकियो । के मज्जा होस् !! 
•  इन्ट्रान्स टपर साया ब्यकबेन्चर र बंकर भईसकीछे मेरो प्रेममा,, म त सदाबहार ब्यकबेन्चर नै थियँ, के नै फरक पर्थ्यो र

•  दुनियाँसँग लुकी लुकी डेटिङ जानु , क्लास मा बसिहाले पनि कागजमा लेखेर कुराकानी अनी  मिसकलको आदानप्रदान दैनिक रुटिनजस्तै भईसकेको थियो
• उसले सोधी , "म मा के देखेर मन परायौ?" , अनी मैले भने, केटी मान्छेहरुको त सबैभन्दा मन पर्ने कुरा  जेन्डर नै हो
•   उसँगको  एकै रातमा म अल्लारे केटोबाट बयस्क पुरुष भएझैं लाग्यो
• फेसबुकमा आफ्नै प्रेमिकाका घुमाउरा स्टाटस पढेर केही थाहा नभयजस्तो  गर्नु, , "ल बधाई छ", "को हो त्यो भाग्यमानी?"  आदी कमेन्ट गरेर अरुको आँखामा छारो हालिन्थ्यो
• ऊ पढाईको शिलशिला मा नर्वे र म कामको शिलशिलामा धनगढी जानुपर्ने भयो
• उसलाई  मेरो  आवाज  सुन्न  मन  लाग्दा फोन  गर्थी , कुरा गर्न  फेसबुक  थियो , हेर्न  मन  लागे  Skype थियो । तर पनि  म  उसँग  बिस्तारै  टाढिंदै  थिएँ
•  यादहरु  भनेका  Tranquilizer जस्तै  रहेछन    , सम्झिउन्जेल  नशाजस्तै  । सम्झिन  छाडेपछी   छटपटी  मात्रै
•  प्रेममा  जती  खुशी  छ  उती  नै  भयानक   पनि, अलिकती  बिग्रियो  भने  सन्तुष्टिको ब्याजसहित  असुली  गर्छ 
• प्रत्यक चोटि फोन बज्दा उसैको आश रहन्थ्यो
• प्रेम  गर्दा  पनि  उत्पातै  गर्यौ  , छोड्दा   पनि  उत्पातै  गर्दैछौ  , रुवाउने गरी
• उसले कारण कहिले बाताइन , बोल्ने को हजार शब्द भन्दा पनि नबोल्ने को मौनता निकै धारिलो हुदोरहेछ, मुटु रेट्नका लागि
• तिमीसँग सरोकार राख्ने  सारा  चिज जलाइसके  साया , अब केबल म बाँकी छु
• सधैं टपर हुँदै आएकी तिमीले यो प्रेमको खेलमा पनि मलाई उछिन्यौ साया
• कुनै बेला पतीपत्नी थियौं हामी
• तर  सम्बन्धको  धागो  उसैले चुडाएकी हो , नचुँडेका मसिना  केही  धागोहरुको सहायता ले म यहाँसम्म आइपुगेकोछु  , आफ्नो  जागिर  , परिवार  अनी  पुरै  नेपाल  छोडेर
• साला प्रेम यस्तै रहेछ त्यो एकथोक बनेर  आउँछ अनी सबथोक लिएर जान्छ 

    समग्रमा भन्नुपर्दाएउटा जवान प्रेमकथा , TU को सेरोफेरो , पोखराको तालहरु देखी नर्वेको अपार्ट्मेन्टसम्मका उतारचढावहाँरुको ककटेल हो "समर लभ"

  

#Thank You 

#